I passed.
Definitely did not see that coming. So happy. Thanks for reading.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
one day morej
My eyes feel so tired but my heart is racing. By this time tomorrow I will know whether I passed or failed.
It has been a tough year for me, but this past week something has changed with me. My attitude has taken a turn for the better. I don't really know if it is just hormones or if it is real, but I am focusing on keeping the positivity flowing. It feels good.
I want positive results so badly tomorrow, but no matter how much I want it, those results won't change.
If you are rooting for me, thank you.
If you are rooting for me, thank you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Baaaaaaack
Sorry to my reader for the long reprieve.
I am employed, though the situation is not ideal, but it pays a little.
Things are not going well for me in my personal life, but I figure this year has been so bad that I must have a really good year coming...
Speaking of a crappy year...I am very concerned over whether or not I passed the Cal Bar. I think about what I missed constantly...and I just hope that what I wrote down/answered was enough.
Anyway, I am planning on posting something more substantial in the very near future...and I hope to post some happy news on or around the 18th of this month (holy shit).
Happy beginning to the holiday season!
I am employed, though the situation is not ideal, but it pays a little.
Things are not going well for me in my personal life, but I figure this year has been so bad that I must have a really good year coming...
Speaking of a crappy year...I am very concerned over whether or not I passed the Cal Bar. I think about what I missed constantly...and I just hope that what I wrote down/answered was enough.
Anyway, I am planning on posting something more substantial in the very near future...and I hope to post some happy news on or around the 18th of this month (holy shit).
Happy beginning to the holiday season!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Trying to find a job
Definitely jealous of my classmates with offers that are raking in some dough right now while I scour the internet, newspapers, and attorneys I know for a job.
I am unsure if I will post much on the job hunt, but I imagine that could be helpful to some future bar exam takers/job seekers.
I have had a couple of bar exam dreams -- both concerned taking the bar exam and not learning of results or preparing. In both, I can't say my dream self performed well, considering all of the dream-created obstacles I had to ovecome in order to even sit down and answer (oh hello, Mr. Evil Guy trying to kill me from outer space, I'll hide in the bathroom or by sit casually by the water cooler while you look for me).
I keep rethinking things, wondering if there are issues I think I missed that I actually got, wondering if I brought up counter arguments/defenses enough...wondering if I used enough facts. Hoping that the only people that don't pass are ones that fail to answer an entire essay...but I know that is not true.
Anyway...back to slaying another dragon...unemployment. Le sigh.
I am unsure if I will post much on the job hunt, but I imagine that could be helpful to some future bar exam takers/job seekers.
I have had a couple of bar exam dreams -- both concerned taking the bar exam and not learning of results or preparing. In both, I can't say my dream self performed well, considering all of the dream-created obstacles I had to ovecome in order to even sit down and answer (oh hello, Mr. Evil Guy trying to kill me from outer space, I'll hide in the bathroom or by sit casually by the water cooler while you look for me).
I keep rethinking things, wondering if there are issues I think I missed that I actually got, wondering if I brought up counter arguments/defenses enough...wondering if I used enough facts. Hoping that the only people that don't pass are ones that fail to answer an entire essay...but I know that is not true.
Anyway...back to slaying another dragon...unemployment. Le sigh.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Day 3...I hope it is over
My brain is not totally working currently and I will post later about my final thoughts should I have any worth sharing. For now, here is a summary of a few things:
1) Day 2 -- MBE: kinda hard. Not surprised about a particular question the MBE is famous for. Thank you, Barbri. I was confident on three questions out of 200. Felt fabulous. (Not.) Oh yeah, and the fire alarm. That was really cute.
2) Day 3 -- Professional Responsibility, Real Property, Community Property. For me, Property was the only one I felt confident about. I wasn't able to nail issues on the PR one like I should have been able to...I found a whole lotta problems with one duty but had a hard time finding other violations. Did my best. Community Property was a strong subject for me during Barbri...however, I never encountered a practice question like what we got today. It was deceptively challenging. The performance test was hard for me -- I found it challenging to organize, and I know it wasn't as strong as my first PT. I hit all the law I thought applied though and included the portions they asked for...I hope it is passing.
3) The "straight civ pro" question from Day 1 may have been a crossover. I'm not sure. I answered it without the other issue -- evidence. Many people talked about evidence (which would have only been relevant to one call of three). Anyway...in case anyone stumbles upon this blog freaked out that I said it was "straight civ pro" ... don't worry. I could be wrong.
4) Overall...not feeling an incredible sense of joy. Glad it's over. Not sure I won't have to take it again. Don't like that thought.
1) Day 2 -- MBE: kinda hard. Not surprised about a particular question the MBE is famous for. Thank you, Barbri. I was confident on three questions out of 200. Felt fabulous. (Not.) Oh yeah, and the fire alarm. That was really cute.
2) Day 3 -- Professional Responsibility, Real Property, Community Property. For me, Property was the only one I felt confident about. I wasn't able to nail issues on the PR one like I should have been able to...I found a whole lotta problems with one duty but had a hard time finding other violations. Did my best. Community Property was a strong subject for me during Barbri...however, I never encountered a practice question like what we got today. It was deceptively challenging. The performance test was hard for me -- I found it challenging to organize, and I know it wasn't as strong as my first PT. I hit all the law I thought applied though and included the portions they asked for...I hope it is passing.
3) The "straight civ pro" question from Day 1 may have been a crossover. I'm not sure. I answered it without the other issue -- evidence. Many people talked about evidence (which would have only been relevant to one call of three). Anyway...in case anyone stumbles upon this blog freaked out that I said it was "straight civ pro" ... don't worry. I could be wrong.
4) Overall...not feeling an incredible sense of joy. Glad it's over. Not sure I won't have to take it again. Don't like that thought.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Day One
So, this morning, I thought things would go kinda like this:
However, that is not what happened. And thank goodness because I was truly expecting the worst. There were definitely thousands of very nervous people in one huge room, but I did not see any throw up, or smell any. Some people's computers crashed, that sucked, and there were power issues. But, it all seemed resolved by the second half of the day.
Anyway, I was obviously terrified which is why I felt like it was going to be like "Welcome to the Jungle" in there. But, the questions were not as intense as I expected. I say that, and I know people are going to disagree with me. But, to me, that was not what I was expecting. I honestly thought I would open up the book, read a question, and not know what to say. Luckily, I had something to say about them all! Phew.
Now, what everyone wants to know -- what were the subjects. Straight criminal law, straight federal civil procedure, and straight contracts. I think the criminal law and contracts essays were the most challenging because there were tons of issues to bring up. I'm sure I missed things. And the civil procedure was challenging because...well, I suck at it, for one, and for two...what was that? I was surprised, honestly. I willed them to test us on personal jurisdiction...and it apparently did not work. I'm pretty sure the civ pro essay will be my lowest score.
I have no idea what to really think as far as my performance went. I issue spotted like crazy. But I worry about my analysis...which is the most important part. It is difficult to not default to a ping/pong type analysis. It is also difficult when the questions do not present facts of clear defenses and you have to think of them of the top of your head...or at least think of the other side of the argument. I tend to think conclusively and this is not the way to go on the bar exam. In fact, I missed some issues because I thought of them and then decided NOT to raise it. What was I thinking?
I am not going to go into what I wrote about and what I did not for each essay because that's just stupid. And I have four months to think about it all...and I'd rather it not be emblazoned on the internet forever.
I am SO GLAD I wrote so many practice essays. I never realized how many of them would help me out on exam day -- but thanks to all the practice, I knew what to bring up in a couple of places automatically, which really helped calm my nerves and enabled me to get something on paper.
Lastly...the performance test. It was definitely a challenge "spelling" wise. Very glad I pounded red bull before as well because it was, quite possibly, the most boring subject ever. Next time, I'd like something a bit more salacious please.
All in all...the build up of the exam is the worst. Now I feel like I can do this and I am not afraid of the questions. I don't feel like going over anything...but I should because tomorrow is a big multiple choice day and I do not fare well at that kind of thing.
Anyway, I hope today went well as far as me getting good results in November. But honestly...not feeling like I nailed it. Just feeling like I got the "gist." Wish I would have thought harder about that civ pro question...
However, that is not what happened. And thank goodness because I was truly expecting the worst. There were definitely thousands of very nervous people in one huge room, but I did not see any throw up, or smell any. Some people's computers crashed, that sucked, and there were power issues. But, it all seemed resolved by the second half of the day.
Anyway, I was obviously terrified which is why I felt like it was going to be like "Welcome to the Jungle" in there. But, the questions were not as intense as I expected. I say that, and I know people are going to disagree with me. But, to me, that was not what I was expecting. I honestly thought I would open up the book, read a question, and not know what to say. Luckily, I had something to say about them all! Phew.
Now, what everyone wants to know -- what were the subjects. Straight criminal law, straight federal civil procedure, and straight contracts. I think the criminal law and contracts essays were the most challenging because there were tons of issues to bring up. I'm sure I missed things. And the civil procedure was challenging because...well, I suck at it, for one, and for two...what was that? I was surprised, honestly. I willed them to test us on personal jurisdiction...and it apparently did not work. I'm pretty sure the civ pro essay will be my lowest score.
I have no idea what to really think as far as my performance went. I issue spotted like crazy. But I worry about my analysis...which is the most important part. It is difficult to not default to a ping/pong type analysis. It is also difficult when the questions do not present facts of clear defenses and you have to think of them of the top of your head...or at least think of the other side of the argument. I tend to think conclusively and this is not the way to go on the bar exam. In fact, I missed some issues because I thought of them and then decided NOT to raise it. What was I thinking?
I am not going to go into what I wrote about and what I did not for each essay because that's just stupid. And I have four months to think about it all...and I'd rather it not be emblazoned on the internet forever.
I am SO GLAD I wrote so many practice essays. I never realized how many of them would help me out on exam day -- but thanks to all the practice, I knew what to bring up in a couple of places automatically, which really helped calm my nerves and enabled me to get something on paper.
Lastly...the performance test. It was definitely a challenge "spelling" wise. Very glad I pounded red bull before as well because it was, quite possibly, the most boring subject ever. Next time, I'd like something a bit more salacious please.
All in all...the build up of the exam is the worst. Now I feel like I can do this and I am not afraid of the questions. I don't feel like going over anything...but I should because tomorrow is a big multiple choice day and I do not fare well at that kind of thing.
Anyway, I hope today went well as far as me getting good results in November. But honestly...not feeling like I nailed it. Just feeling like I got the "gist." Wish I would have thought harder about that civ pro question...
Sunday, July 24, 2011
It's the final countdown
I am pretty sure this was the soundtrack to my dream last night:
I really wish it was not stuck in my head. If anything produces anxiety, it is the guitar or keyboard (?) intro to that song. My body is running on anxiety right now, so I really do not need anymore. Still, the song is appropriate for this evening.
I have spent a fair (read: too much) amount of time "researching" the California Bar Exam. I learned that it is commonly referred to as "CBX." I dislike this name -- it reminds me of P90X (is that correct?). I have been on the "CBX" diet for a couple months now, and my body is not looking so hot. But that's okay.
So, in regards to my research, one post that has stood out to me is this one. The writer speaks of being at this point of giving up, or coming into a sense of serenity...and I know I have one full day left, but that is about what I am feeling. I have not quit, and I will still continue to go over my checklists, but I just don't see how I can learn one more thing without losing something else. And at this point, I recognize that any more time I spend "learning" or "relearning" is not time well spent, and will not yield great returns. I know what I know, and that will have to suffice. Whether I pass or not, it is not up to me. I can only do so much to show the graders that I should be a lawyer, and I plan on doing that.
I think this last week was the toughest for me. I cried a lot; felt like giving up...in the bad way, not the "I'm ready to go" serenity way. I had a couple of days where I felt great and I believed in myself, and then it left me. I'm not completely sure of myself at this moment, but I finally was able to dig deep enough to trust that I can do this. I laid awake one night and tried to blame every other person in my life for me failing the bar exam...and I hadn't even taken it yet. I realize now that no one is going to be able to give me the tools I need to pass besides myself. I have said this before, and it is true - I do not have a strong support system. It would have been wonderful to have a caring boyfriend feed me and cook for me, a parent drive me to the test center, an extra $500 to get a hotel room, a family member that has been through this before..heck a friend that's been through this before. But I must say...I've done this on my own, and even if I had all those things, it would not make me pass this test.
It is about me, and what I can do. What I can learn. How far I can push myself. How much I can believe in myself. And how I execute, Tuesday through Thursday. I cannot predict whether I pass or fail; I know statistically, I'm favored to pass. I also know statistics do not account for the pressure that is going to arise on each exam day. I could very well fail; but I am going to do everything in my power not to. And that's that.
I really wish it was not stuck in my head. If anything produces anxiety, it is the guitar or keyboard (?) intro to that song. My body is running on anxiety right now, so I really do not need anymore. Still, the song is appropriate for this evening.
I have spent a fair (read: too much) amount of time "researching" the California Bar Exam. I learned that it is commonly referred to as "CBX." I dislike this name -- it reminds me of P90X (is that correct?). I have been on the "CBX" diet for a couple months now, and my body is not looking so hot. But that's okay.
So, in regards to my research, one post that has stood out to me is this one. The writer speaks of being at this point of giving up, or coming into a sense of serenity...and I know I have one full day left, but that is about what I am feeling. I have not quit, and I will still continue to go over my checklists, but I just don't see how I can learn one more thing without losing something else. And at this point, I recognize that any more time I spend "learning" or "relearning" is not time well spent, and will not yield great returns. I know what I know, and that will have to suffice. Whether I pass or not, it is not up to me. I can only do so much to show the graders that I should be a lawyer, and I plan on doing that.
I think this last week was the toughest for me. I cried a lot; felt like giving up...in the bad way, not the "I'm ready to go" serenity way. I had a couple of days where I felt great and I believed in myself, and then it left me. I'm not completely sure of myself at this moment, but I finally was able to dig deep enough to trust that I can do this. I laid awake one night and tried to blame every other person in my life for me failing the bar exam...and I hadn't even taken it yet. I realize now that no one is going to be able to give me the tools I need to pass besides myself. I have said this before, and it is true - I do not have a strong support system. It would have been wonderful to have a caring boyfriend feed me and cook for me, a parent drive me to the test center, an extra $500 to get a hotel room, a family member that has been through this before..heck a friend that's been through this before. But I must say...I've done this on my own, and even if I had all those things, it would not make me pass this test.
It is about me, and what I can do. What I can learn. How far I can push myself. How much I can believe in myself. And how I execute, Tuesday through Thursday. I cannot predict whether I pass or fail; I know statistically, I'm favored to pass. I also know statistics do not account for the pressure that is going to arise on each exam day. I could very well fail; but I am going to do everything in my power not to. And that's that.
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