Elton really has nothing to do with this post other than that today is Saturday, and I love that song. Oh, and I'm slightly obsessed with the Royal Wedding. Anyway, moving on.
I am sitting in bed, laptop on lap, an old episode of Grey's Anatomy playing in the background, and feeling quite sorry for myself.*
I'm in a really weird place right now, and I wonder if this is normal. I'm having some weird interactions with some law school friends, and feeling oddly rejected and sensitive over the whole thing. I also made the decision to not see my main man this weekend, which is out of character for my co-dependent self. Now, of course, I'm regretting that decision. I did three practice essays and a performance test today, and I actually feel good about those. I still cannot manage to muster up the desire to study for finals. I also only opened my text books this semester about two or three times. That means I have not read. I always read for classes. Not this semester.
Things are weird. Off balance. Whatever. Is it graduation? Is it pre-bar exam jitters? Stress over having no job? I don't know. For all I know, this could be completely normal for me. I just cannot even read my own emotions right now. I even thought, for about five minutes today, about getting my Ph.D. Weird. What am I supposed to do with that?
*I also have a coffee mug full of cranberry-vodka. Putting this fact in a footnote makes me feel better about myself. I'm pretty sure the fact that I put this in a footnote, and that it makes me feel better to have this noted here, is a sign of alcoholism. Now I'm not feeling so much better.
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