I totally named this blog right...'cause I have a serious case of the blues.
First off, I feel this weird need to apologize (1) for my last post of craziness and (2) for not posting. However, upon reflection I recognized that I am the only one who reads this and I am not sorry to myself for either (1) or (2).
Secondly. It's fourth of July weekend. I think all of my neighbors have taken off by now, or they are in the process of it. I keep seeing people walk by my apartment with bags in hand, in cute summer outfits. I'm seriously jealous. I love the Fourth of July weekend. Particularly when it is a 3 day weekend. I like it more next year -- when it is a four day weekend. But I imagine I will be slogging away at this time next year and not able to enjoy the four days. Well, I hope to be, at least. Anyway...this sucks. It is 80 something degrees outside. Beautiful. And here I am, at my desk, writing essays. This totally sucks. It's just me, BB King, and Muddy Waters. All weekend long.
This week also marks the start of the month of the test and the crazy march to the 26th of July. The test is 24 days away. Holy fuck. As the essay guy says -- "Closers, it's time."
So, I am nowhere near where I need to be, or where I think I should be at this point. My last post probably hinted at that a little bit. In regards to that last post -- I cannot sit here and blame the instructors. I was just getting so frustrated because it seems like they will just tell you a rule and move on. I am having trouble connecting the dots, I suppose. I know that I have the base knowledge of this stuff already, and that's why these lectures are abridged versions for the Bar Exam -- but I just expected to get more from the lectures. Now I realize that for me, I need to hit the outlines more and the CMR, and wikipedia to understand the concepts.
Related, I have found that I tend to understand and remember a rule of law if I know the reasoning or policy behind it. That helps me. I'm not going to write about the reasoning on the exam, but I think when I have trouble, that's what I need to look for.
My studying this week/weekend has focused immensely on writing essays, and grading them myself. I have been writing them out, making up law where I don't know it, trying to recite rules, and applying them. Then, I look to see if there is an answer available with BarBri, the state Bar, or (in the case of some essays that BarBri does not provide sample answers for) if a quick internet search will yield me a model answer. Then I compare, and actually track changes in the essay I wrote, to see what I missed. This has proved effective for me. I get better with each essay I write for that particular subject.
That being said, I think I might start focusing on making my own outlines for some of the subjects I struggle with the most. I have already done this for the 6 essay/MBE topics, but I think I need to do this for Remedies and Civil Procedure and some others as well. It just helps to see it all/have it all in one place.
Who knows if anyone but me will ever read this again...but to those that did, and to reward myself, here's a treat:
Hey, I read this! I like knowing I'm not alone in my worries and self-doubt. I can hardly believe JULY is here. Where did JUNE go? I thought I'd have more memorized by this point.
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